Hello again readers and if you are reading this thank you for reading this post and any previous posts. Right now the leaves are falling off the trees and it's getting colder. Wearing longer sleeves is becoming more and more of a necessity. This of course means that snow is in the immediate future, the white stuff that everyone loves until they have to drive in it. In the spirit of dropping temperatures and the impending series of snowstorms that is coming, I would like to talk about rolling snowballs. You might ask what does a rolling snowball have to do with adult life, to which I will reply it is a metaphor for anxiety and perseveration. Once I get anxious about something, it is hard for me to let go of it, until topic of anxiety is addressed and gets better. Decrease in anxiety has primarily been outcome-based rather than coping-based, and it is like that for others as well. It is like a rolling snowball, once the snowball of worry gets rolling, it is hard to stop without an external force. Usually the best way to stop a rolling snowball of anxiety is for another person to use redirection or a reminder to calm down, which can make living independently/alone especially challenging since there is no other person, no external force to stop the snowball.
One thing I think can be helpful when living alone is to talk with a go-to person/someone you trust. It can be a parent over the phone or someone else. They can usually talk things out and put your mind to ease and also redirect you from your worries. Additionally, putting your worry in a more positive frame of reference can be helpful. This can reduce your penchant for worry by taking a more positive frame of mind. Finally, distracting yourself is another great way to reduce your worry. By distract yourself I mean entertain yourself, whether it is by watching something funny or going out and doing what you want to do. This can distract you from your worries and add some much needed enjoyment. Overall though it can be difficult taking your mind off worry and it is easy for someone on the Spectrum to get stuck and perseverate
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Friday, October 12, 2018
The Difficulties of Moving Hours Away
Hello again readers, today I want to discuss the difficulties of moving hours away to live independently by yourself. Recently, I made a move 5 hours away from my hometown to live on my own for the first time, 5 hours away from family to an unfamiliar place. Prior to that, I relocated 4 hours from my hometown where I had previously lived my whole life to complete undergraduate work, before moving back home for grad school. There are numerous difficulties associated with moving hours away to a previously unexplored area, for anyone. Being on the spectrum can compound these difficulties. Here are three ways it can be difficult
1. Lack of familiarity: To someone like me with Autism, familiarity can be a great friend to someone on the spectrum. Familiarity breeds normalcy, order, and structure. In a new place, familiarity goes right out of the window, and you have to adjust to a new environment, a new routine, and pretty much a new everything. It is a learning period involving where everything is and how to get there and also what is available. It is an adjustment period, a process of trying to create a new order, a new sameness, a new familiarity
2. Unknown people: Fitting in to the lack of familiarity is a lack of familiar people. For someone with Autism, it is very difficult to enter a place where you do not know anybody. As someone on the spectrum, I can get comfortable talking to the various people I connect with and grow a comfort level with them. With those people gone, I find myself in the presence of new people I haven't met before. It is a challenge meeting new people as I do not have a comfort level with someone I just met, and as someone who has difficulty opening up, it can be difficult meeting new people and attempting to make connections.
3. Greater responsibility: You do not have to live 5 hours to have to make this adjustment. When transitioning from living with parental figures to living on your own, you take on more responsibilities. I had to make the full transition to being responsible for my own bills, cooking my own food, and running to the store to get what I need. It becomes difficult because it adds more stuff for me to do. It is a new routine that I have to adjust to
These are 3 general ways it can be difficult, 3 is not too big of a number, but they are 3 general reasons that cover a lot of ground and encompass a lot of the challenges one can expect to face. The good news however is that the more time you spend at a place, the more familiar you become with your new surroundings and status as an indepedent adult, and in time, a new familiarity develops. The biggest challenge is at the beginning where the adjustment period starts. Living in a new place becomes easier as the place you are living in becomes not as new
1. Lack of familiarity: To someone like me with Autism, familiarity can be a great friend to someone on the spectrum. Familiarity breeds normalcy, order, and structure. In a new place, familiarity goes right out of the window, and you have to adjust to a new environment, a new routine, and pretty much a new everything. It is a learning period involving where everything is and how to get there and also what is available. It is an adjustment period, a process of trying to create a new order, a new sameness, a new familiarity
2. Unknown people: Fitting in to the lack of familiarity is a lack of familiar people. For someone with Autism, it is very difficult to enter a place where you do not know anybody. As someone on the spectrum, I can get comfortable talking to the various people I connect with and grow a comfort level with them. With those people gone, I find myself in the presence of new people I haven't met before. It is a challenge meeting new people as I do not have a comfort level with someone I just met, and as someone who has difficulty opening up, it can be difficult meeting new people and attempting to make connections.
3. Greater responsibility: You do not have to live 5 hours to have to make this adjustment. When transitioning from living with parental figures to living on your own, you take on more responsibilities. I had to make the full transition to being responsible for my own bills, cooking my own food, and running to the store to get what I need. It becomes difficult because it adds more stuff for me to do. It is a new routine that I have to adjust to
These are 3 general ways it can be difficult, 3 is not too big of a number, but they are 3 general reasons that cover a lot of ground and encompass a lot of the challenges one can expect to face. The good news however is that the more time you spend at a place, the more familiar you become with your new surroundings and status as an indepedent adult, and in time, a new familiarity develops. The biggest challenge is at the beginning where the adjustment period starts. Living in a new place becomes easier as the place you are living in becomes not as new
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